Not Again


I had a bad feeling when I awoke this morning.  The world felt a bit out of balance, phased in the wrong direction.  I attributed it to a weird dream that seemed a cut out of  American Psycho, in which I was being chased around in a warehouse by a man dressed in white. Everything around me was white. His clothes. My clothes. The walls. I turned to him and said “Is this a killing thing? This is a killing thing, isn’t it?” He smiled sickly at me and said “Yes.”

I woke up upset, feeling nauseous, and as if something was very wrong.

This happens to me. Empathic dreams that tune into some destruction to come, or a destruction that is occurring.  A few months ago, it was night after night dreams about flooding, and then four hurricanes happened.

I avoid news at all costs because I am an empath, and this morning was no different.  But once at work, headlines and employees shared the latest tragedy.  It didn’t take long to connect. While I slept, apparently my dream was tapping into the disgust, pain and fear regarding the Texas church shooting news. Viewers around the world hearing yet again of another perfectly normal event gone horribly wrong.

Texas Church. 26 Dead.  And I sat at my desk and burst into tears. Like I did for Newtown. Like I did for Oregon. Like I did for Vegas.

I don’t normally address political hot topic issues, but when I read that Trump had called the shooting a mental health issue, rather than a gun issue, I felt a flash of rage so hot my hands started to shake. I won’t express the list of expletives that gushed from my lips for the next five minutes.  But I do need to write this out of my system.  Some will agree, some won’t. I don’t care.  People are dead. Parents lost their fourteen-year-old. I have a fourteen-year-old.

My heart feels broken again reading about Texas. But my heart has been broken a long time for humans. We send prayers and thoughts and love and light, but nothing changes. We stand in candlelight vigils, holding hands and singing Hallelujah, choking back tears, while we try to heal each other and ourselves by remembering that we are essentially good.  Right? We are good, right?

Politicians and the public argue around the causes and solutions while in the meantime, very sick people are out there amassing an arsenal of assault weapons waiting for their moment.

Trump had the audacity to call this a mental health issue, not a gun issue. Hello Master of the Obvious…but really, is that your answer to this? Should it be anyone’s?

It’s BOTH and BOTH sides of the problem need be addressed. NOW. What causes mental health issues to go unaddressed and what allows amassing assault weapons BOTH need immediate resolutions.

In what world and on what day would any average citizen have need of an assault rifle? Why should any citizen be able to amass them as they do? Hunters don’t even use assault rifles. Not the ones I know. An assault rifle would damage the carcass too much.

Texas politicians tow the “stop a bad man with a gun, by giving a good man a gun” line. Do gun supporters hear themselves? Ever? Violence solving violence has NEVER EVER EVER worked in the history of man. EVER.

I don’t know all the answers to this problem…but I do firmly believe that assault weapons should not be for sale to private citizens.

Do you know that doctors have access to a database called a PMP? It shows every medication you have ever been prescribed along with dosage, amount, and where and when you purchased it.  People get red flagged when they med shop, meaning they bounce around from doc to doc trying to fill medications that are limited such as narcotic based scripts for pain and anxiety.  Docs can see any benzo, anti-depression, anti-psychotic, ADD or ADHD medication you have ever taken. If they see an abuse happening, they address it by NOT prescribing more.  Now, create a database of gun purchases to limit sales of type and quantity AND cross-reference it with your medication database, to see if someone is purchasing multiple weapons from multiple dealers AND has a history of taking meds for mental health issues. It wouldn’t catch everyone, but how many red flags do you think would go up today? How many guns would not get into the hands of risky people? Go a step further. Subject anyone who wants a gun license to then puchase a gun should be required to undergo a mental health assessment and historical medication review. Yearly.  You want the right to own a gun? Then earn it.

Extreme tactic? Yep.  But so is getting a call that your child has been shot while in church or in school or at a concert or at the movies.  Imagine getting that call??? I do NOT want to imagine that call. But every week I have to hear about another family destroyed by mass violence and I am forced to imagine it. WHY?

Personally, I would like to see every weapon destroyed on this planet, but it wouldn’t solve it completely.  Broken people will find a way to break others if they have the will to, with whatever means they can find.

In the long view, I wonder how much fear, destruction, and depravity we can all stomach? What are the long-term ramifications for the PTSD that we all suffer every time we turn on the news? What is the human cost to those involved and those who witness? I met many people who won’t even go to large public venues now because of mass shootings and terrorism fear.  They won’t fly.  People are genuinely starting to fear “others” overall.  At what point does our fear of others drive us to cut off from society and purchase a small arsenal of weapons to “defend” ourselves “just in case.”  We are in a sick game of Catch 22 with no end move and no winners. Everyone loses.

To combat this fear, we certainly need to create as much love and positive energy as we can to face the forces of evil around us.  But to finally get something done on these issues, we need do a lot more than pray and hold candlelight vigils. We need get hardcore in our resolutions. I don’t really care if that infringes on our “rights”.   We won’t have anything to have rights to if we continue status quo.



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