My name is Pamela Anne Ryder, but social media has known me as Ryder Anne, CGHOSTS, Alchemy Rituals and Spirals1111. My current roles in this life are Mother, Manager, Writer, Counselor, Wife, Friend, Daughter, and Sister.  But these are roles, not who I am at the core.  At the core, well, that is what this journey is all about. Discovering and connecting with my core, beyond the roles, titles, and passions I have, is really all that drives me in this life.

It is mostly a lonely journey.  Not that my life has lacked beautiful, meaningful and sometimes heartwrenching connections with other humans and animals. I have never wanted for friends or loved ones or lovers.  End of day though, it is a deeper connection I seek. I desire a continued connection with the Source, a connection beyond these thoughts and words seeking for it.   I have been blessed enough to have the experience on occasion but sustaining it has proven difficult. This is not due to lack of trying. I meditate daily, I practice a nature based spirituality, I keep my hands and mind busy with things that I am passionate about.  These work and I recommend them to every client I work with.

My challenge for sustained connection I think comes from my extreme clairesentience; the ability to feel EVERYTHING in my surrounds outside of my own feelings.  This world at current pace is NOT an easy world to be an empath in. Humans seem to be in the childhood of their existence. Our spiritual evolution process as a species is quite slow. I am not so patient.  Essentially, it is hard to be a part of a species that has violence and fear alongside creative beauty and grace  brewing at our molecular level.

It is the duality of this human journey through equal parts Darkness and Light, that possessess my every waking moment. I move through life, highly functioning in my roles, but barely breathing under the weight of human madness.

I have been writing a book for the past ten years I plan to finally publish. It is FINALLY  nearing completion.  The book focuses on the strange events surrounding my life that started in 2007 and CGHOSTS, a ghost hunting society I founded based on a ghost voice telling me to write a book.  The book will come and go, but I will need to write ongoing.  Hence this blog. I believe I have wisdom to share. I turn 50 this year.  I have seen and done much in this life. I have succeeded and I have failed.  It is my hope that my words provide connection for those who read it and connection for me to those readers. “Oh, I am not crazy alone here! Look! This chick is crazy too!”  Cool, we can be crazy together.

Let’s go see what we can experience hand in hand.  The blog will cover metaphysical, paranormal, and spiritual topics in the spirit of self reflection and hopeful evolution. I love taking photos, so they will be a strong feature and usually the inspiration for any blog. I also write and play music, via the piano or singing, so that may show up here as well.  It won’t always be so heavy. I have alot of sarcasm in me. I can’t protect you or anyone from that.

It’s important you understand that I firmly believe NOONE has the answers. NOONE. It likely adds to our species’s existential crisis, because we really have no idea why existence, well, exists.  But that is alright, because it’s the mystery that turns me on. In fact, I am not sure I want my mysteries answered.  For me, they stroke this life with  exalted and heartbreaking colors.  That doesn’t mean, I don’t strive for inner acceptance and peace. How I find that peace, whether I can sustain it or not, what challenges it…these are the questions of this Coven of One.